@theoutlawjimmy is THE CURSE OF BRYN ESTYN

THE CURSE OF BRYN ESTYN….

Posted by Outlaw on June 4, 2013

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“O, what a tangled web we weave when we practice to deceive” Sir Walter Scott.

It has been 34 years since I spent any time at the ‘Big House’ and after all the accusations, the investigations, the enquiries, the seemingly endless amount of newspaper column inches, the books, the documentaries, the news reports, the criminal & libel trials, the backstabbing, deception and the endless rumour and speculation – what else can there be to add?

Considering I only spent a matter of weeks at the Bryn Estyn Children’s Home between September and December 1978, I appear to have attracted a considerable amount of unwanted attention.

Is it because these people think I may know something that has not been looked at before?

So what is it I really know about the Bryn Estyn story?

A great deal more than I did since November 2012 to be honest, inasmuch as I have gained a rather unique insight into both sides of the story.

Unique in the sense that as an ex-care home lad, I am able to talk to others who have been in the system with none of the suspicion and distrust that accompanies those in an ‘official’ capacity.

Since the Bryn Estyn Story exploded again, I have been dragged into a seething mass of emotions, duplicity and personal agenda’s that have accompanied this story, discovering that nothing much has really changed since the original story started circulating in 1991.

I have read extensively, I have talked to many ex-residents and realised that I had become too involved to see the agenda’s that were being played out in front of my eyes.

Whether it was displaced loyalty on my part, I cannot tell, but I had somehow ignored what should have been obvious to me all along and my normally questioning nature and natural suspicions had abandoned me to the point where I literally could not see the proverbial ‘wood for the trees’.

I am fully aware of the truth now and rather than allow myself to used by the opposing factions in play, I am not going to involve myself in this issue any longer.

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What I will say however, is that my initial instincts were right and I still do not believe that the focus of any investigation into ‘Establishment Paedophile Rings’ and highly-placed Political figures should be directed at Bryn Estyn.

That is not to say that physical and sexual abuses against young people did not occur, as there are too many voices that have now spoken out for it to have been simply ‘mass hysteria’ and Mainstream Media manipulation.

The media have played a huge role in this ongoing saga, the Journalist Dean Nelson for example should be questioned as to his role in the manipulation of what were after all, some very vulnerable young men, who’s initial ‘statements’ did not stand up against the more robust questions that accompanied the inevitable investigations.

The Policemen who spoke of ‘Compensation’ payments that could be made available for those who came forward with their stories of abuse should be questioned, as should two Wrexham Councillors, one of whom helped set up the NORWAS Charity that raised a great deal of money for the victims.

While on the subject of money, the £40,000 that was missing from the Charity fund that Steven Messham was acquitted of stealing, should also be looked at as it was never recovered.

There was a much publicised ‘split’ between the Survivors who had initially set up the charity and is still the cause of a great deal of bad feeling.

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I also feel that I have been ‘steered away’ from certain people involved in the story.

People who I have since met up with and heard an altogether different version of events, which I am in the process of weighing up against the more popularised and public view of the whole story.

When I first got involved, I saw no reason to doubt much of what had been very publicly thrashed out in full view of the media spotlight.

I genuinely thought that there was not much more that could be known about, what was after all, one of the largest and most expensive investigations into institutional child abuse this country has ever seen.

How wrong I was.

What I discovered was a seething cesspit of backstabbing, ego’s, jealousy and personal greed coupled with a great sense of injustice bitterly felt by both sides after almost four decades of mismanagement and distrust.

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None of this will be solved easily and will no doubt take many years to finally lay to rest.

That will require open, and totally honest input from everybody who has a direct involvement, which I am confident will never happen as there is still much to be gained from the endless suspicion and accusations from both sides.

I was duped, I feel I was used by one or more persons who’s side I supported which led to the recent online attacks on my reputation and the altogether more worrying attempts to place my home and family in very real danger.

I have never intended to write about what I call the ‘Curse of Bryn Estyn,’ but I have now gathered enough material to confidently tell an altogether different story.

Maybe enough for a book if the truth is told, but that will be only when I decide and will be something that I shall have complete control over.

That is the one thing I am entirely sure of.

10 comments on “THE CURSE OF BRYN ESTYN….”

  1. Pingback: THE CURSE OF BRYN ESTYN…. » Alternative News Network
  2. Read and re-read and have an uneasy air about it. You’d best explain who these so called dupers are, “I was duped, I feel I was used by one or more persons who’s side I supported”. Being as I’m the only ex-Bryn Estyn resident you could have met, in any context of meeting, I’m confused and need clarification of other statements.

    “inasmuch as I have gained a rather unique insight into both sides of the story.” I’d ask which two sides are you referring to?

    “I have been dragged into a seething mass of emotions, duplicity and personal agenda’s that have accompanied this story”. “Dragged in” by who?

    “I have talked to many ex-residents and realised that I had become too involved to see the agenda’s that were being played out in front of my eyes” Care to share who’s agenda’s?

    “Whether it was displaced loyalty on my part, I cannot tell, but I had somehow ignored what should have been obvious to me all along and my normally questioning nature and natural suspicions had abandoned me to the point where I literally could not see the proverbial ‘wood for the trees’”. Again please share without the cryptonics.

    “I am fully aware of the truth now and rather than allow myself to used by the opposing factions in play, I am not going to involve myself in this issue any longer.” “Opposing factors”? “Used”? How? By who?

    “It was the cause of a much publicised ‘split’ between the Survivors who had initially set up the charity and is still the cause of a great deal of bad feeling.” This is incorrect and needs your attention. “The so-called split” happened 2 years before the money went missing. I’ve reiterated it more than once to you. Not a jot of “feelings ” are “still” present because there never was any. I never knew about the money until November 8th 2012. I’d forgotten about Messham and NORWAS decades before. Again, I’ve explained this to you previously.

    “I also feel that I have been ‘steered away’ from certain people involved in the story”. Can you just clear this bit up? Give your readers the names. I’m interested to discover who these individuals are.

    “People who I have since met up with and heard an altogether different version of events, which I am in the process of weighing up against the more popularised and public view of the whole story.” Ditto last question.

    “What I discovered was a seething cesspit of backstabbing, ego’s, jealousy and personal greed coupled with a great sense of injustice bitterly felt by both sides after almost four decades of mismanagement and distrust”. Some more on the details would be appreciated.

    “That will require open, and totally honest input from everybody who has a direct involvement, which I am confident will never happen as there is still much to be gained from the endless suspicion and accusations from both sides.” Again this is too cryptic for me. Please explain.

    “I have never intended to write about what I call the ‘Curse of Bryn Estyn,’ but I have now gathered enough material to confidently tell an altogether different story.” Different in comparison to what story?

  3. How can they stay with you when you’ve posted the above blog? My questions are serious challenges to your assumptions. C’mon now you can’t expect me to let this pass without answering.

    • Of course I don’t expect you to let it pass.

      Who are you referring to when you say ‘staying with me?’..

      Daz mate, am I not entitled to my own thoughts about this?

      I have formed an opinion and I have tried to offer a balanced account of what I have seen, I want no more connection with it as it’s toxic and harmful to anyone who ‘dares’ even mention it in public. Let alone ask questions, as I have done.

      Too many secrets and too many conflicting stories exist.

      I do know quite a few ex-Bryn Estyn lads as it goes, from South Wales mainly but some I knew from other Approved schools.

      As for being cryptic???

      That seems par for the course with regard to anyone who talks about Bryn Estyn, as you yourself have been very cryptic at times.

      I regret ever getting involved with it, and being so vocal armed with only half of the story has brought only trouble to my door..

      I have never once claimed to be the font of knowledge of all things Bryn Estyn, but I have learned enough to walk away from it..

      There is much I do not know, but what I have learned is enough to tell me to leave it alone and concentrate on other things.

      Is that not enough?

    • I prefer to get to the truth, which I believe I have now.

      I have to stand by what I have written and will continue to do so.

      I have been warned to ‘stay away’, threatened, trolled and had all sorts of accusations levelled at me due to this issue.

      Why would that be?

      All it does it make me believe there is more to it than anybody seems to be willing to say.

      I look for the truth, nothing more. No agenda, just facts.

      I can climb out at any time I decide, I will make that choice.
      :-)

  4. Keep telling yourself that.
    At the end of the day it changes nothing. The “Truth” about Bryn Estyn is known only to those who know and unfortunately I’m one of the few still alive who fall into this category. You’re not and never will be, just like the hoards of others. The warnings/threats you describe would have and will continue to arrive. Whether it’s about the Mcanns, Bryn Alyn, Messham, blood groups, aliens or anything else you’ve chosen to attach yourself to. But they reach no further than the screen of your computer. As for choices…you’re right, only you can make them. There are consequences for every single choice made but these consequences aren’t controlled by you. You have but one option… to live with them.

    The entry above hints at this and points at that but there’s not an ounce of evidence to support any of it. No-ones ever going to approach you and your family, we both know it in reality. The threats and disclosures were only ever made to wind you up, and they worked. If you can’t see that’s all they ever were then the cunts who wrote them have been provided with a bonus, by yourself.

    We all know I’ve drifted away from the constant drivel being written on various social networks. But only me and mine know just how beneficial this move has been. The benefits of stepping back are tangible. My family have seen the depths I’ve sunken to and threw me a life jacket. At first I refused to take hold. I can handle it…. I thought! But what is there to handle? Trolls? and er……lies? And er…accusations?

    It all pales into insignificance when one goes through a reality check. Costs and benefits? Costs? My time and all that’s included in that time. Benefits? Fuck all. Why? because I know why I’m on this planet and it isn’t to spend my life attacking and defending what appears on my monitor. Be it blog entries or tweets or opinions, they all melt away when one realises the absolute “TRUTH” about Bryn Estyn.

    Not a soul on the internet has yet to offer more truth about “the big house” than I, not a single living soul has taken to the net and offered anything even close to how it was.

    Everything else means shit. It’s babble and it’s perpetuated by more babble.

    • I must ask, how do you know that any threats and/or disclosures were meant only to ‘wind me up?’

      Unless you somehow know the exact nature of and what they consisted of?

      I have never spoken of, nor written anywhere the FULL extent of the troublesome activities that myself and my family were subjected to, so how are you aware of them?

      You refer to everything as ‘babble’, so does that include your contribution, as well as your testimony at Waterhouse for example?

      Does anybody have a legitimate claim to speak about their experiences at Bryn Estyn, simply because you claim to have laid down the ‘definitive’ version for posterity?

      Your comments just leave me with more questions I’m afraid :-(

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